Dear Lover,

Through the years our lives have been intertwined like a spider's web.  Complex, beautiful, and deadly.  You have seen me at my worst.  And I've given you my best.  Perhaps that is part of the attraction.  You know me so well, and you are comfortable and exciting at the same time.  Every time I think of you my first blush is of fear, the second of lust.  What does that say about us?

I told you years ago that I was in love with you.  And every time you touch me, a piece of my soul dies.  You prey upon my heart, leaving me more empty each time we meet.  Every time I try to convince myself that you love me, and every time you walk out the door I know that is a lie.

I try to separate our lust from my love, but that never works.  How can you walk away every time, leaving me cold and alone?  What I must realize is there is no love in you for me.

Do you remember the first night you slept in my bed?  We didn't even kiss.  There was just this overwhelming need for me to be close to you.  I didn't sleep at all that night.  I think that is when I realized we had a future.  I just didn't know it would be this.

When every other relationship in my life crumbles, you are there.  When the one I thought was my future walked away, you walked in.  You filled up a part in me that was empty.  I never should have let you.

You are poisining me.  You put a veil over my eyes.  Like heroin, you are my drug.  Your kisses are always like the first.  Your hands on my skin is always new, even after all these years.  Even though I know you are killing me, I still invite you in each and every time to show up on my doorstep.  Loving you is like slowly committing suicide.

Do you even realize what you do to me?

When my blood boils as you kiss me, I hate myself.  Every time you touch me, I feel like I am betraying the rest of my life.  Will I always be tied to you like this?

Can you see why you shouldn't come to me anymore?  Can't you understand that I could never make you leave?

Leave me, for my own good.

A.

Well, I guess I should put up a post that actually has some real content.  Here we go...

About two weeks ago I went on the pill.  I had heard so many horror stories about girls gaining weight, nausea, and diminished sex drive that I was really worried.  I really had no choice in starting the pill - medically necessary.

But I haven't had any of these side effects yet.  Maybe I'm just lucky or something.  My gyno suggested taking the pills at night right before going to bed.  I think that is why I am not feeling any nausea - I'm asleep when it kicks in.

And my sex drive?  Better than ever, thank you very much!

I wish people hadn't scared me about the pill years ago.  I was so worried about all of the side effects that I kept avoiding it.  LIfe would have been so much easier if someone had said, "Hey, you might be okay."

Moral of the story:

Girls, if you are considering the pill, give it a try.  Who knows?  You could be like me and experience no side effects.

Is it sad that my 8th grade students have more sex that I do?